I recently had the pleasure of speaking to Chris St. Hilaire, the author of "27 Powers of Persuasion: Simple Strategies to Seduce Audiences & Win Allies," for a new article on Monster+HotJobs, "The Art of Persuasion in Your Job Search."

I'm enthusiastic about his approach to persuasion, which is very simple, and which is fundamentally about positivity: making other people feel good about themselves makes them feel good about you.

One of my favorite tips in the book embodies that notion well (and is a little "gem" of a job-interview tip, I think): You know how when you go to a job interview and the hiring manager asks you if you'd like something to drink? St. Hilaire says you should ask for a glass of water. He explains, "People want to do something nice for you, but not too much. This is a surefire way to make them feel good about themselves without inconveniencing them.'"

Other tips that didn't make it into the article (due to a shortage of space) include tips on actively liking people (when you like someone, it helps him or her like you): St. Hilaire says, "I really, really like the people that I interview with, and part of that comes from practice."

He says that in any meeting, you should find one thing to like about everyone in the room. In some situations, that will involve a mental adjustment: "Every trait can be viewed two ways ... when you flip negative to positive, stubborn becomes resolute, skeptical becomes careful," and so on.

He also advises job seekers to turn their own negatives into positives, and to address them forthrightly. In the book, he likens this to something we often see in politics: a politician turning the weakness of "inexperience" into the strength of "being outside a corrupt political system," for instance.

You can do this with your own "weaknesses"--for instance, a long gap between jobs. Before going into an interview, prepare a succinct story about how you've been spending your time between jobs (or addressing whatever your "weakness" is). He says the trick is to think about the effect your weakness has on the way you interact with the world, and identify the positives in that effect.

(For tips on filling resume gaps, see "Fun Ways to Beef Up Your Resume.")

Other good tips from my notes that didn't make it into the article include "if you need to fidget, wiggle your toes" and "let others finish a question before you start to answer." Also, don't forget to breathe. 

Get more strategies and tips on having great job interviews.

For last week's Monster+HotJobs poll, we asked you how you felt about developing friendships with your coworkers. More than 5,200 people responded, and here are the results:

• 8 percent say developing friendships is extremely important--a must.
• 29 percent say friendships are very important--they make work a lot more pleasant.
• 44 percent are lukewarm on the matter--they think work friends are nice, but they don't force the issue.
• 19 percent say friendships at work are "a little" important or not at all important. Don't bother these folks with your birthday cake and watercooler gossip: they came here to work!

And the solid majority in the middle here probably have the right idea. Many experts suggest that being friendly at work is important to getting ahead--but they say that being too friendly can hurt you in the long run. Think of it this way: There's the person who stops by office birthday parties for some cake and pleasant chit-chat. And then there's the person who's so busy organizing daily after-work "happy hours" that he lets work deadlines slip. Who do you think is likelier to see a promotion?

Of course, a lot depends on where you work. But as a recent Book of Odds blog post points out, people see definite advantages to workplace friendships--for instance, enhanced teamwork and better morale (and don't forget the value of turning ex-coworkers into friendly network contacts).

On the other hand, some people see disadvantages, such as favoritism. In "Friends vs. Friendly," Monster.com experts provide advice on making friendships at work, work.

Wondering whom to make friends with? Read "Five Friends You Should Have at Work." And don't miss "Beware of Workplace Frenemies," for tips on avoiding false friends at the office.

How do you feel about friendships in the workplace? Share your thoughts in the comments section, or find me on Twitter and let me know.

Is networking not working for your job search? Maybe it’s time to take a different approach.

Get ahead by checking out these 10 tips to improve the quality of your networking.

Chances are this economically tumultuous year will end with a muted holiday celebration -- at least at work. According to a survey by Challenger, Gray and Christmas, 62% of companies are planning holiday parties this year (down from 77% in 2008 and 90% in 2007). And those companies that are planning office holiday parties are likely not living as large as they have in years past. Lunches are replacing dinners, potlucks and catered in-office events are replacing hotel bashes.

On a positive note, gatherings focused on charity and community giving are gaining in popularity and participation. For example, according to this Houston Chronicle article, the local KPMG office is getting employees together to sew and stuff teddy bears to be distributed with books to disadvantaged children. It's a different type of holiday cheer that for many feels better considering the current state of affairs.

If your company is having a holiday event, you need to be prepared. Appropriate office party etiquette can help you make a great impression, just as one false move could tarnish your reputation, or worse, your career. Remember: Even though it's a labeled a party, it's really a business event. You need to:

·         Have fun, but in moderation.

·         Dress appropriately for the occasion.

·         Find out if it is a "plus one" event.

·         Talk to people outside your immediate work team (this is a great opportunity for professional networking).

·         Thank the party coordinators.

So how is your company celebrating the holidays this year? Do you agree with the plans?

Get more office holiday party tips from these articles:

·         "Office Holiday Party Etiquette"

·         "Navigate Company Events"

·         "Etiquette Tips for the Office Holiday Party and Coworker Gifts"

As Thanksgiving approaches, I realize that despite months of underemployment, I have a lot to be thankful for this year. First and foremost: I have a new job. During my search for permanent, full-time employment, I got to know many generous people. I also had a chance to use my skills in ways I never thought possible, enriching my professional experiences and, ultimately, my value to employers. Sometimes, I even had great fun!

And with my unemployment ending, my story here on the Monster Blog is coming to a close as well. I leave you with this list of what I am thankful for this year -- not despite the ups and downs of the job search, but because of them.

Thankful for a New Job

I have accepted a business development position with a local engineering firm. This solid company manufactures high tech devices for a variety of industrial markets. Their biggest challenge -- and now mine, too -- will be to grow their small 5 percent market share. Part of my charter includes developing my staff and hiring a few new folks. I am glad to be on the hiring end for a change.

Mostly, though, I am excited by the prospect of working in a new professional environment. It's good to feel wanted by a firm for the skills I have to offer. Alas, the company needed someone in this capacity "yesterday," so there won't be much recuperation from the job search.

Thankful for a Return to Normalcy

Throughout this job search, I was never comfortable and I rarely got a solid night's sleep. Was my time management that bad? Not when you consider that as I was working the mini-jobs, I was also running the household singlehandedly, engaging with my 2 sons by day and job searching by night. Returning to a normal sleep pattern is just one of the things I am looking forward to when I start the new position.

With the job in hand, I can now focus on pulling all my miscellaneous paperwork into the done pile rather than the to-do pile. And with the return of a revenue stream, I'm also set to tackle those idle household fix-it projects.

Thankful for You, the Readers

I am grateful I could share my trials with you as I navigated this bumpy path to a new job. There was true solidarity in knowing many of you are experiencing similar situations. (For instance, all of us seem to rage at the job search black hole.) Your feedback was often a catalyst for another blog topic or deeper introspection on my part. In many ways, you helped me get where I am today.

Thank you all, and best wishes for your own career and job search.

How do you think you will feel once you land a position?

My protracted season of underemployment is coming to an end. The people in my life are relieved to hear that I will soon be employed full-time. To them, this is an encouraging sign that the economy is turning the corner.

Reflecting on these past months, I think: What have I learned?

The Power of One

Throughout this job search experience, I’ve learned that often it’s the one tip, one idea or one contact packing the most value. Even just one of these factors can make the difference. Here’s an example: I just finished reading a lengthy book about interviewing questions. In it, I found an invaluable nugget: a single paragraph that addressed a particular question I had been struggling with: Why do you feel you can be successful in this position? Serendipitously, this very question came up in a recent interview.

With a little reflection beforehand, I outlined my interest in the company’s industry and its market vision. Then, I capped it off with a concrete example, aligning my product development skills with the employer’s needs. 

Embrace the Unknown

Allowing yourself to be open to possibilities is another significant takeaway. In the employment search, you might dismiss different industries or types of jobs as unsuitable or out-of-reach. But by venturing into unfamiliar areas, new possibilities may present themselves. When I volunteered at a global conference on green matters, for instance, I made networking connections that I never would have in my routine job search.

Keep Laughing, or at Least Smiling

Approach the whole unemployment process with a measure of humor. True, it is not easy finding humor in looking for work every day, but on the whole, keeping perspective is a healthy thing to do. Finding friends in the same boat helps too. I met many people from diverse backgrounds through my job search networking groups, and I count them as friends well beyond the job search.

Keep Your Skills Sharp and Contacts Close

Lastly, I have come to terms with the nature of employment in the 21st century. No matter where my work journey takes me, I am basically a long-term consultant, even if I am called a full-time employee. That’s why keeping my job skills and networking contacts current is crucial for any “next” employment phase.

Whether mid-stream or close to the end of your job search, what's been your most valuable lesson?

In all the months spent researching and searching for permanent full-time employment, who should emerge as one of my top targeted firms? My former, former employer. Not the one that laid me and hundreds of others off about 6 months ago, but the firm I voluntarily left more than a decade ago. Recently they opened a branch just 20 miles from my home – a civilized commute in my congested part of the world. Since I have a solid track record with the firm, and I thrived in their culture, I never hesitated to contact them again. And through the magic of networking, it’s likely that I'll have an interview there next week.

Naturally, many of my former coworkers have moved on given the 10-year time span. But I am sure that if I work at this firm again, I will encounter some of the same colleagues. There’s a big lesson from my professional tenure: you never know who you will meet again and under which circumstances.

I've learned through my networking conversations that there are two key skills the firm is looking for. One is a sense of urgency or as I like to call it, "getting it done-ness." The other is leadership. Getting things done is a fairly straightforward skill set for anyone with two young boys. Even something as seemingly simple as propelling my sons forward in the mornings -- getting fed, dressed and ready for the learning day -- requires a sense of urgency. The added teamwork and motivation further finesse my “get it done” skill set.

Leadership is a tougher skill set to illustrate with any employer, former or not. People define leadership differently, so figuring out how to frame my leadership experience is a primary goal in prep for the impending interview. I will sound out various resources, gather feedback and apply this to my work results. Since my leadership “sagas” don’t lend themselves to retelling in an interview setting, I will craft brief, to-the-point leadership snapshots.

Now that I've mulled over my approach to this interview, I had better get it done!

Would you consider working for an old employer?

Sometimes when it rains, it pours. Last week, I was fortunate enough to land 3 interviews in as many days. Other job-seeking friends are reporting an increase in activity too. In some cases, it is because firms want to spend their remaining Q4 budget by bringing someone on board. In other cases, the companies are gearing up for their Q1 hires now. Whatever the business rationale, I welcome the opportunity to interview, although it does require some pre-work. Here are the 3 fundamental steps that I use to prepare for interviews:

1. Read All Available Public Domain Information

Obviously, the Internet is a great tool for collecting general data about the prospective company. To dig deeper, consider a subscription business information service such as OneSource. Thanks to their high-level overview of one particular firm's financials, board members and recent performance results, I gleaned useful information about a large, family-owned business.

2. Reach Out to People Who Have Worked at the Firm

Of the past employees I spoke with, most were balanced and neutral in the assessments of their former employer. Of course, some contacts departed the company on unfavorable terms, so you may wish to take their perspectives with a grain of salt.

In these informational interviews, I try to understand their views about the company’s culture and team dynamics. I discovered that one firm has had very high turnover. What would spark these departures even in these economic times? I was told that some of the departing folks will actually be rehired as consultants, and that this is essentially the firm’s “growth” plan. Hmmm, my gut is telling me to be careful. I will dig around more before another round of interviews with this particular company.

3. Check Out the Firm’s Competition

To round out my intelligence gathering, I also look at the companies’ competitors. While competitors will not speak to me about strategy or other proprietary information, they are more than happy to expound on their products. In preparing for an interview with one of the companies, I stumbled across a major patent case that reached the Supreme Court. Given my limited legalese, I turned to a patent lawyer who happens to be in my job search networking club. He did a little pro bono patent law definition for me, and now I really feel that I've turned over every possible stone.

The pre-interview work isn’t complete until I polish my questions and make sure that my career portfolio is presentable. While time consuming as these preparations are, they all paid off. I've secured second-round interviews in all 3 cases. That’s a good feeling!

What techniques do you use to prepare for a first or second interview?

Sometimes when it rains, it pours. Last week, I was fortunate enough to land 3 interviews in as many days. Other job-seeking friends are reporting an increase in activity too. In some cases, it is because firms want to spend their remaining Q4 budget by bringing someone on board. In other cases, the companies are gearing up for their Q1 hires now. Whatever the business rationale, I welcome the opportunity to interview, although it does require some pre-work. Here are the 3 fundamental steps that I use to prepare for interviews:

1. Read All Available Public Domain Information

Obviously, the Internet is a great tool for collecting general data about the prospective company. To dig deeper, consider a subscription business information service such as OneSource. Thanks to their high-level overview of one particular firm's financials, board members and recent performance results, I gleaned useful information about a large, family-owned business.

2. Reach Out to People Who Have Worked at the Firm

Of the past employees I spoke with, most were balanced and neutral in the assessments of their former employer. Of course, some contacts departed the company on unfavorable terms, so you may wish to take their perspectives with a grain of salt.

In these informational interviews, I try to understand their views about the company’s culture and team dynamics. I discovered that one firm has had very high turnover. What would spark these departures even in these economic times? I was told that some of the departing folks will actually be rehired as consultants, and that this is essentially the firm’s “growth” plan. Hmmm, my gut is telling me to be careful. I will dig around more before another round of interviews with this particular company.

3. Check Out the Firm’s Competition

To round out my intelligence gathering, I also look at the companies’ competitors. While competitors will not speak to me about strategy or other proprietary information, they are more than happy to expound on their products. In preparing for an interview with one of the companies, I stumbled across a major patent case that reached the Supreme Court. Given my limited legalese, I turned to a patent lawyer who happens to be in my job search networking club. He did a little pro bono patent law definition for me, and now I really feel that I've turned over every possible stone.

The pre-interview work isn’t complete until I polish my questions and make sure that my career portfolio is presentable. While time consuming as these preparations are, they all paid off. I've secured second-round interviews in all 3 cases. That’s a good feeling!

What techniques do you use to prepare for a first or second interview?

Over the months, I have taken on some part-time jobs to earn what I can while trying to find permanent full-time employment. Like many other workers in this recession, I have resorted to something called “underemployment.” In this case, it means taking on additional hours or part-time jobs.

One of my underemployment positions has me teaching courses at a local business skill development center. Given my many years of teaching sales and technical folks in all manner of courses, I find this enjoyable, straightforward work. I’ve been leveraging this teaching relationship to find similar opportunities. But full-time work in that vein requires more certifications, which cost time and money. I’d rather use my time -- a precious commodity -- to focus on the job search and full employment.

While underemployment can meet a (hopefully) short-term financial need, there is a psychological component that accompanies this type of work. Being underutilized in the world of work can be crushing from an intellectual standpoint; particularly when you have spent years educating and improving yourself in a business discipline.

To balance this unfulfilling period, you can take steps to stay on top of your discipline. Do research online, read industry journals or join a professional society. For example, I joined the Project Management Institute society while being certified for PMP. Professional societies can offer relevant seminars and provide a forum for thoughtful discussions. Down the road I am confident that this professional self-improvement will pay off in the form of potential work connections.

When you’re underemployed it feels as if one foot is in a warm inviting bath, while your other foot remains on the cold hard tile floor. You don’t belong in one spot or the other. While using some of your skills can get the bills paid, this work doesn’t quite envelop and reward you, like a full bath. For some of my friends, their underemployment involves work that isn’t even related to their professional field. One public relations director is working part-time as a restaurant hostess. A creative director I know mans the customer service desk at a hobby store. Their big toes aren’t even in the warm bath water.

Naturally, you want to find interim underemployment that is in your field. Who knows? It may lead to a full-time position. A few members of my job search networking group have started various consulting assignments that leverage their areas of expertise. While these temporary work arrangements offer intellectual stimulation, my colleagues know they could be let go at a moment’s notice. Conversely, they have the flexibility to leave the consulting assignment should they land a full-time opportunity. It works both ways. For these experts doing the consulting work, it feels like they’re in the bath up to their waist.

Is underemployment playing a role in your job search?

Even though I am now electronically enabled without blue screen of death experiences, I don’t have the bandwidth to constantly hammer out short messages on my various keyboard devices. Besides, if I am always looking down at a keyboard on a mobile gadget or stuck behind a computer, I am not out in the world engaging with those I would be interested in working with! I’d rather be out front-and-center with people in my job search than fiddling with short e-blasts in a heads-down fashion. Call me old-fashioned, but at least I won’t walk into a manhole!

Here are 5 strategies I employ when networking for my job search and how you could do them, too:

Get Out!

Whether it be getting out of your home office, the library or the local coffee shop, do it. You won’t meet anyone in person tucked behind your computer screen. Make it a weekly goal to go to at least one industry or networking meeting to meet with real, breathing humans. You will feel alive and refreshed, much more so than from that added jolt of java!

Make Meaningful Connections

When going to one of these weekly industry or networking meetings, strive to have just a few profound conversations with a few people. You don’t have to meet and greet everyone in the room to be successful at a networking event. Remember, it only takes one connection to earn one interview to land that one job. I don’t think I ever went home from an event and said, “Gee, I had 50 great 1-minute conversations tonight!” But I do recall saying, “Wow, I had a really cool chat with ABC person from XYZ company, and I can’t wait to talk with him again.”

Help People Help You

Being in the moment at such live events also means that you are interested in the other person. What’s in it for them to meet you and add you to their business circle? How can you be helpful to them in the present and perhaps the very near term? Listening is still a highly valued skill set, and if you can do it well in a networking setting, imagine how well you can do it in a job environment.

Be Present

While being technologically savvy with various electronic gizmos is part of the zeitgeist, being present and engaged actively in conversations with people never goes out of style. Cultivating your network is not just a one-time discussion, rather it is an evolving and expanding conversation that includes not just you, but extends to including many others also focused on the same business goals for that particular firm.

Let Your Network Help Connect the Dots

As they say, you never know who knows who. A computer won’t make the mental connections about people’s shared experiences and how they may be important in the business world for you. For example, I was researching a local food producer and trying to figure out how to meet the business leader who is known locally for sponsoring an innovative 5K road race as well as growing multiple businesses. While discussing this dilemma with a fellow job seeker, he clued me in that this particular business owner is also a dedicated farmer with a viable farming business that sells product to the local community. My job searching friend also shared with me that this person is almost always at his local farm every weekend when it is open to the public. So that’s the next outing for me and my two young sons. They will get to see a local farm in action, and I’ll meet this business leader who is creating new businesses -- and new jobs.

How is your face-to-face networking going in your job search? How does it compare to some of the electronic tools you use?

I’ve just had one of the most unusual first interviews in my 20 years as a working (and, lately, job seeking) professional. Armed with excellent information and company market research about the firm’s products, I went in prepared with a PowerPoint marketing strategy. I also brought along photos of the company’s products captured in a variety of store format settings. None of these materials were asked for, but since I do not have this particular industry experience, I had to show my marketing skills proactively.

The first interviewer was with the actual hiring manager. She was interested in my capabilities in developing new products and delivering revenue. This was a great topic for me as I have developed many new products, in various firms, generating well over $300 million. She was also impressed with the work I had done in my PowerPoint presentation.

After a 12-minute wait, the next individual to interview me was the group’s senior manager. This is where the interview got strange. Her first reaction to my resume was “Eewww, you worked for ABC company,” which she said in a very denigrating tone of voice. I was rather taken aback given that ABC company is a good corporate citizen and has generated more than $50 billion in the local economy. I did not want to start this interview on a negative note, so I chose not to respond to this remark. After many more questions, interviewer number 2 then concluded the meeting with, “So when can you start?” What a turn of events!

The last person I met with held the position I was interviewing for -- he was moving on to another job in the firm. We had a long and lively conversation, which concluded with his asking me, “So when can you start?”

The very next day, I received a call from the recruiter who told me the firm decided not to proceed with my candidacy because I didn’t have the necessary marketing skills. What a rollercoaster ride that was, to say the least.

That night, after receiving the news, I diverged from my usual organic menu and ate a big pile of mac & cheese (Why is comfort food bad for you?) and did some soul-searching. Obviously, I need to up my game to get beyond the first interview stage. To put my new plan into action, I went to the library and loaned out several key career books. I also set up appointments with 2 professional job interviewing experts. But emotionally, I am not great, I am "just OK.” It takes a lot of bad things happening to me for me to end up “just OK.”

A friend in one of my job search support groups tells me of another member who’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He has had many second-round interviews in the past year, but none are progressing to the offer stage. Another buddy of mine is upset about the undercurrent of disrespect pervading the job seeking experience. I am very worried for them. Fortunately, this job club is very supportive of venting, and all involved are very understanding.

There are many of us hanging on by various diameters of threads, ropes, etc., in this job search climate. How do you feel about your situation?

It is true -- everything happens in threes. For example, over the past weekend I had three very near misses in traffic accidents. I was particularly stressed out that my young sons were in the car each time. The last near-miss was on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and was very scary as it happened right in front of my eyes in that cliché type of slow motion.

But what three things have come to light in my ongoing job search? Well, for me, it has been three individuals who have demonstrated random acts of kindness to help me in my job search.

One individual is a partner in a small, boutique consulting and recruitment business. She came to my attention via one of my job search networking groups, because she volunteers her time to job seekers. I thought I had nothing to lose, so why not sign up for a time slot with her? We fixed a date, and a few days later I was in her office. I was pleasantly surprised in her helpfulness and kindness in sharing her insights -- and giving up her earning time. Some of her specific ideas have helped me break through the clutter in getting noticed for various job opportunities. She basically gave me the ammunition to be armed with the heavy artillery in the job search quest.

Another standout individual was someone I met socially at a weekend BBQ. She knew of my job search efforts given the amusing T-shirts my sons wore to this event soliciting work for Mommy. As we spoke, she extended herself to helping me network with a key employer in our area. She even went back across several lawns to her house to retrieve her business card and gave it to me at the end of BBQ. In the next couple of days, she stayed true to her word and helped me navigate the twists and turns in networking with this employer. Her kids were also at the party and enjoyed playing with my children, so there was common bonding happening on a generational level.

The third individual who stands out is someone I have never spoken to live nor met in person. I know it sounds odd, however, some folks seem to do their nicest work by email. In this case, it was a recruiter seeking to fill a very specific position. While I wasn’t a fit for that job, I was able to refer him to three individuals who might be. I thought that would be the end of our transaction. Lo and behold, this recruiter has reached out a few times to let me know he hasn’t found suitable matches yet but that he was still keeping me in mind during his placement fulfillments.

It sounds kind of corny, but had I not become unemployed, I would not be meeting such a wide variety of interesting and very kind individuals. While employed, I just stayed focused on the job tasks at hand, and then off hours, I took care of my young family. I didn’t venture out of my normal routine and circle of friends and family much. Surprisingly, you can depend on the kindness of strangers -- after all, strangers are only friends you haven’t met yet.

Have you experienced any random or not-so-random acts of kindness during your job search? How has it lifted your spirits or otherwise impacted you?

It is true -- everything happens in threes. For example, over the past weekend I had three very near misses in traffic accidents. I was particularly stressed out that my young sons were in the car each time. The last near-miss was on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and was very scary as it happened right in front of my eyes in that cliché type of slow motion.

But what three things have come to light in my ongoing job search? Well, for me, it has been three individuals who have demonstrated random acts of kindness to help me in my job search.

One individual is a partner in a small, boutique consulting and recruitment business. She came to my attention via one of my job search networking groups, because she volunteers her time to job seekers. I thought I had nothing to lose, so why not sign up for a time slot with her? We fixed a date, and a few days later I was in her office. I was pleasantly surprised in her helpfulness and kindness in sharing her insights -- and giving up her earning time. Some of her specific ideas have helped me break through the clutter in getting noticed for various job opportunities. She basically gave me the ammunition to be armed with the heavy artillery in the job search quest.

Another standout individual was someone I met socially at a weekend BBQ. She knew of my job search efforts given the amusing T-shirts my sons wore to this event soliciting work for Mommy. As we spoke, she extended herself to helping me network with a key employer in our area. She even went back across several lawns to her house to retrieve her business card and gave it to me at the end of BBQ. In the next couple of days, she stayed true to her word and helped me navigate the twists and turns in networking with this employer. Her kids were also at the party and enjoyed playing with my children, so there was common bonding happening on a generational level.

The third individual who stands out is someone I have never spoken to live nor met in person. I know it sounds odd, however, some folks seem to do their nicest work by email. In this case, it was a recruiter seeking to fill a very specific position. While I wasn’t a fit for that job, I was able to refer him to three individuals who might be. I thought that would be the end of our transaction. Lo and behold, this recruiter has reached out a few times to let me know he hasn’t found suitable matches yet but that he was still keeping me in mind during his placement fulfillments.

It sounds kind of corny, but had I not become unemployed, I would not be meeting such a wide variety of interesting and very kind individuals. While employed, I just stayed focused on the job tasks at hand, and then off hours, I took care of my young family. I didn’t venture out of my normal routine and circle of friends and family much. Surprisingly, you can depend on the kindness of strangers -- after all, strangers are only friends you haven’t met yet.

Have you experienced any random or not-so-random acts of kindness during your job search? How has it lifted your spirits or otherwise impacted you?

One small silver lining to being unemployed in this particular recession is that there’s a lot of company, so you don’t have to go at it alone! At present, I attend 3 job search networking groups on a fairly regular basis. One meets weekly, another bimonthly and yet another monthly. I also have at least 2 others I try to attend monthly, time permitting.

Certainly, the weekly support group has brought me the most reassurance when it comes to the job search steps I’m taking along the way. This group has existed several years and has solid ground rules for participation. I joined about a month into my job search, once I felt my resume was fairly robust. My resume was actually one of the first items this club helped me with. The multiple pairs of eyes were able to pick some of the fine nuances that I couldn’t see even if I stared at the resume until the cows came home.

One key rule of this weekly group is that you have to show up weekly. These job search support groups are only viable and helpful as long as the membership is fairly consistent and thrives off the interplay of its members. Of course, if you land a position, you are excused from weekly attendance. In fact, you get a mini-party from the group once you secure a job.

Another great guideline I really enjoy seeing in action is that you have to ask the other group members how they can specifically help you each week. This request for help gives you the additional tool and/or momentum you need to continue your job search for the subsequent week. When it’s your turn to ask for job search help, you have to be forward-thinking and not use the air-time to vent or gripe. Given the diversity of job functionalities in this group, you receive many unique points of view that are often spot-on in their guidance. And with the frequent cadence of the meetings, your personality and background are fairly well-known in short order.

The bimonthly job search networking group was started by a job seeker who didn’t find his discipline well-represented in an existing club. As a result, this job support group is focused on a functional skill set with members from a wider geographic draw. This group meets in various local libraries that offer free community room usage. One meeting a month is a classic support group-style meeting, and the other meeting of the month typically has an outside speaker to bring various helpful job search hints to the table.

In between meetings, this group stays tied together with a supportive and humorous email chain. We often share job leads and postings on an almost daily basis. While one person’s job opportunity may not be a good fit, it may be another person’s prize position. The one thing you can’t do in this group is sell any services to other members. That behavior belongs in the open market, not in a job support group.

The monthly group is more of a professional organizational group. They focus very heavily on the networking part of the job search process and hold events designed for that objective. For example, one was called “Martinis and Self-Marketing.” Once in a blue moon after many rejections, a martini sounds like a good idea. Even if there is a featured speaker, the networking part of the meeting comes first and lasts a solid hour. I always remember to bring lots of self-branded business cards and even once came close to running out given the wide variety of networking opportunities that stemmed from this meeting.

Whether the group meets weekly, bimonthly or monthly, I always find golden nuggets to extract from each gathering. How have such groups been helpful to your job search?

Just prior to being laid off from my former employer, several influential colleagues explicitly told me -- and reaffirmed a few times -- to stay in touch. Now, there are ways to stay in touch that put you ahead of the curve should rehiring happen. As of late, several instances of small and medium firms rehiring former employees have been reported in my large network. Additionally, proactively staying in touch can get the necessary information to sincere people in your network who ask you to keep them posted.

So staying connected to your network is key. Why be out of sight, out of mind with the very groups of people who knew and supported you professionally before the layoff and are now willing to extend themselves in your post-layoff phase?

I’ve taken to a fairly regular cadence of reconnecting every 25 days. I craft an uplifting, eye-catching subject line to start my staying-in-touch message. I well understand that many of the employed folks are hurting, having taken on monumental workloads and very often welcome an uplifting message to start or end their day. For example, “sending sunny summer greetings” -- who wouldn’t want to read that?

Of course, your staying-in-touch message should be crafted to account for unique points in your relationship with that person. A brief update (as positive as possible) about your recent activities is the meat of the message. Most people are genuinely interested in hearing about “whatever happened to so-and-so (meaning you)?” Satisfying their curiosity gives you a lot of mileage. To date, I’ve had 100% response back, as well as some encouragement for my job search quest.

The other key action item to set yourself apart from the swells of job seekers is to send out thank-you notes promptly, not just after interviews but also to folks who have extended themselves to you. These thank-you notes must be handwritten -- gasp, not an email! Slowly writing with good penmanship is a good idea to clearly spell out your appreciation.

Cleverly following up your dialogue with that contact also gives you an opportunity to reinforce a positive about yourself. It is all too rare these days to receive a thank-you note that has a personal touch to it. It can work wonders and pay off dividends in the future, even unbeknownst to you at that particular time.

Call me old-fashioned in my upbringing, but I’ve carried thank-you cards in my work bag for years. As soon as my little tykes can write words in roughly a straight line, thank-you notes will be in their homework plans. It will be a lifelong asset for them, putting them in good stead whether Mom is employed or not.

What key actions do you routinely do to stand out from the crowd?

It made sense that he would want a visual, but my heart sunk when I thought about what he might see: “Am I holding a martini glass in my profile picture? Did I set my birthday party photos to private? Will he be able to access the outlandish comments friends post on my wall?”

You can imagine my relief when I found that I had indeed set my profile to private and my photo was a smiley (and alcohol-free) version of my face. But this experience got me thinking: How can job seekers prepare their social networking profiles for employers’ eyes?

1. Set your profile to private: The most obvious solution, changing your settings can block users who aren’t your friends from searching for you or seeing your profile. You can also limit which friends can see your profile, so if you happen to be connected with a potential employer, you’re able to restrict what they can and can’t see. Here’s more information on Facebook privacy and MySpace privacy.

2. Un-tag or remove inappropriate photos: Just because your college buddies love the snapshot of you riding a mechanical bull while double fisting red Solo cups does not mean an employer will be a fan of your debauchery. Remember the heat Obama’s speech writer took for his Hillary cutout photos? It’s a good idea to ask friends to avoid tagging you, and you can self-censor what you post. You can also block specific networks from seeing certain photo albums.

3. Avoid writing negatively about the employer: Anything you post online can and will be read by someone – whether it’s the employer or someone connected to the employer. The “Cisco fatty” is just one example of how you can ruin your chances of being hired by knocking an employer on the web.

4. Add apps and join groups selectively: The Commando Fridays group might have been a great inside joke with your former colleagues but it could have a potential employer raising an eyebrow at your application. On the other hand, joining a group created by an industry society could reflect positively. Click “join” wisely!

5. Create personal and professional profiles: Having one profile intended for friends and another for employers can be useful. For example, I only accept Facebook friend requests from people I know socially (whether that’s at work or outside of it). I use my LinkedIn account to connect with people I know professionally (some I’ve worked with closely, others I’ve only met once or twice at company meetings). Rejecting a friend request from a professional can be a little awkward, but sending a personal and polite message explaining why you’ve denied them will get you through.

With one out of five employers using social networking sites to learn about candidates, these are tips you’ll want to consider. Still, it’s good to keep in mind that employers aren’t out to get you on the web. They’re simply tapping into the wealth of online resources to get a better sense of who they might be working with. If you have some of your own profile preparation advice, please share on the comment board!

-Meghan

We've got Job Search Guy Radio Show #2 for you.

This show highlights Networking, with cool tips from three experts. You'll get an exclusive interview with networking pro, Jessica Miller-Merrill on 7 Ways to Network on a Shoestring Budget.  In addition, you'll also get 5 cool tips on how to grow your network online and offline from Jacob Share of Job Mob blog, plus one great tip from the Brazen Careerist, Penelope Trunk. The show begins with the latest trend in sources of hiring and why that will make it even more imperative that you network MORE in 2009.

Enjoy!

Joe

Job Search Guy Radio Show#2
Length 22:50